Shania Needs A Purebred To Get Over That Mutt

Well I'd have to say it did make me wimper to read about Country Music artist Shania Twain and producer Mutt Lange separating after 14 years of marriage. Seems like a dog-gone shame.

But being one to always try and look on the sunny side, I'm thinking what Shania needs is a purebred dog, or a hound to be exact, to get her over this mess. Since I do have papers, I think her man...um...hound.

So here's my top ten reasons why you need a CountryHound Shania:

1. Whatever you need babe, just say it, and I'll fetch it for you.

2. Too busy to cook? No problem. I eat the same thing every morning and night, and all you gotta do scoop it out of the bag and throw it in my bowl.

3. I've heard you've got a bad habit of losing things. Well I'm your dog there too. I can track down a needle in a haystack.

4. You like a well-groomed man? I get my nails done at least once a month and have a bath at least every couple months, and I'm pretty good at cleaning myself in between.

5. Want someone with a good disposition? My tails wagging all the time, even when I'm pouting.

6. You don't have to worry about where I've been and any diseases I might have, I'm all up to date on my shots.

7. Want a man who will do what you tell him? I'll sit, stay, heel, and especially roll over for you Shania. I'm not real big on the playing dead thing though.

8. Sure, I can do the dishes.

9. Want a worldly man? Well my name is Worldwide Webb, and I've got this Country Music website popular around the world. But I do have to admit I don't get outside the house and backyard much.

10. Last but not least, I will be your best friend. I'm as loyal...well...as a dog. And I'll love you unconditionally, just throw me a bone every once in a while!

Now I'll admit I've got some bad habits. I do scratch a lot. Sometimes I chew on things I shouldn't. I've been known to embarrass people by sticking my nose in their business. I drag mud in the house. I slobber, don't chew my food well, and sometimes bark when I shouldn't. But my bark is definitely bigger than my bite.

So what do you say Shania, can I be your lucky dog?