How Dogs Helped The U.S. Gain Independence

You know when they wrote the history of the United States it was written to reflect positively on the people who composed it, so there were a lot of important facts left out. This is true of the story of our we won the Revolutionary War too.

It is a little known fact among humans, but dogs played a very important role in how the war was won. I’m about to help bring some of that missing history to life for you. 

Fortunately my old Uncle Sam, who was a very patriotic dog, used to gather us around when we were pups and pass down some of this history. For instance, did you know that Bloodhounds were used extensively by the Americans to sniff out the British? That’s right, they’d just give us a sniff of an English Muffin, crumpet, or tea; and then we’d find those Limeys anywhere. It was pretty easy really.

But there were also many more untypical ways in which we helped:

…Of course there were the infamous Poop bombs. The conniving American leaders would over-feed the dogs of the K9 Infantry for a few days and then turn them loose to “do their duty for their country” in a big field. When the Brits came through and stepped in all the poop they were so repulsed they couldn’t move. That made them pretty easy to capture.

 

…Well, you know how prim and proper the British are. When they were all gathered around their campfires at night some of us dogs would wander up and start loving on them, cozying up to them. They’d end up with dog hair all over their jackets. Most of them refused to fight without getting their uniforms cleaned first, which again made them easy to capture.

 

…Another great ploy we used around campfires was the noxious gas attack. Anybody who’s ever had an inside dog can tell you about how effective these are. Everyone’s lounging around the campfire or their tent. Some of us dogs would just lay around looking all innocent. Then, when the time was right, we’d release our special noxious gas. You never seen them Brits run so fast…right into the arms of the awaiting Americans!

 

…Of course there was always the simple scare tactics. We’d just wait in the bushes along the trails and roads and surprise the enemy troops by running out quickly barking and howling. They’d all be running and climbing up trees and stuff. 

 

…The special forces squad known as M.U.T.T (Military Underdogs That Trick) put an extra twist to the scare tactics by drinking hydrogen peroxide that would make them foam incessantly at the mouth. Yeah, the British thought for sure those MUTTs were rabid.

 

…Another infamous MUTT tactic was the “tail chasing” ploy. The dogs would get in the middle of an enemy squad and start chasing their tail. While the soldiers were looking and laughing, they never noticed they were being surrounded by American forces. 

 

…Of course though, the tactic that really won the war for the Americans was the one used by another special force group, HUUMP (Hounds Using Uncivil Military Practices). You’ve never seen an infantry platoon stopped dead in their tracks until you’ve seen them attacked by a pack of hounds humping their legs. After the American troops stopped laughing, they’d just round up the stunned British troops.

 

So on this July 4th when you celebrate our independence, let your dog participate in the festivities too. It is quite likely that his or her ancestors also played a key role in our freedom. Do something nice for them like throwing them a burger or hot dog off the grill…or maybe even let them hump your leg.

 

God Bless America!

 

 

Editor's note:  The views and opinions expressed by Webb do not necessarily reflect those of CountryHound.com.  In fact we believe many times he writes blogs with the sole intent of bringing about actions that would benefit himself.